Let the Tears be Shed
I wrote this at a very difficult and different time, and on another blog, because I thought it was too sad to go with my perky pink background. However. I am not organized enough to have TWO blogs that I ignore, so here it is:
Two weeks before the tragedy at Virginia Tech, another life was lost. There was no national outcry, no day of mourning - this was a very private death. My child died before I even had a chance to see her because I miscarried at 13 weeks. There was no reason for it, there was nothing that I could have done differently to keep my child alive, she just slipped away and I didn't even know it until I ended up in the emergency room, listening to a doctor I didn't know tell me how sorry he was, but...
On the surface, there doesn't seem to be much of a connection between the unseen, peaceful death of my child and the very public, brutal deaths of the students and teachers at Virginia Tech. However, when I was allowed to go home, the order sheet that went with me was very specific, "Do not make any major decisions." In other words, my grief and pain were so deep that any decision I made would not be based on rational thought, but a kneejerk reaction to what I was feeling. My doctor was telling me to take time to mourn, to grieve the baby I would never hold, and the potential that was lost with her. On the surface, the two incidents have almost nothing in common, but if one looks deeper, he will find that the reactions of politicians, pundits, and all the rest of us are based on grief, rage, and the feelings of complete helplessness that horrific acts bring out in everyone. This is not a time for decisions, for political parties to forward their agendas on gun control or security. This is also not a time for blame, as there is so little that anyone can do in the face of determined evil. This is a time for mourning. Lives were brutally taken away, great potential was snuffed out in an act of violence so horrific that our minds can't even wrap around it. We are not ourselves right now. Pain and loss cause us to react, rather than reason, and that is how we humans are. Don't minimize this tragedy by trying to tie it up in a box that fits an agenda. Acknowledge that this is something we are all suffering, and give us all time to grieve, and time to learn how to heal.
Let the Tears be Shed
On the surface, there doesn't seem to be much of a connection between the unseen, peaceful death of my child and the very public, brutal deaths of the students and teachers at Virginia Tech. However, when I was allowed to go home, the order sheet that went with me was very specific, "Do not make any major decisions." In other words, my grief and pain were so deep that any decision I made would not be based on rational thought, but a kneejerk reaction to what I was feeling. My doctor was telling me to take time to mourn, to grieve the baby I would never hold, and the potential that was lost with her. On the surface, the two incidents have almost nothing in common, but if one looks deeper, he will find that the reactions of politicians, pundits, and all the rest of us are based on grief, rage, and the feelings of complete helplessness that horrific acts bring out in everyone. This is not a time for decisions, for political parties to forward their agendas on gun control or security. This is also not a time for blame, as there is so little that anyone can do in the face of determined evil. This is a time for mourning. Lives were brutally taken away, great potential was snuffed out in an act of violence so horrific that our minds can't even wrap around it. We are not ourselves right now. Pain and loss cause us to react, rather than reason, and that is how we humans are. Don't minimize this tragedy by trying to tie it up in a box that fits an agenda. Acknowledge that this is something we are all suffering, and give us all time to grieve, and time to learn how to heal.
Labels: miscarriage, mourning, VA Tech
posted by Kathleen @ 9:53 PM
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